Vulnerable

When I came close
and climbed on top of you;
when I pressed myself deeply
into you, our lips, almost touching…

your face held the same expression
of an infant as he saw the lowering
of a milk bottle. Hunger; excitement;
and also fear, as if the hand that held
the bottle would suddenly disappear. 

That was the moment I saw
you, at your most beautiful,
lying beneath me, soft eyes
under the moonlight. A soul
who surrenders himself
to be satiated by another
is so easy and impossible to hurt.

Touch

my hand,
a few inches above your shoulder, a gesture,
a hesitation, a tired bird looking for a nest.

How infinitely close the Earth is to her beloved Sun.
How infinitely far you are to my uncertain touch.

Hey

Remember that night we sat on your doorsteps 
talking after the party. Your hair was longer 
back then; I had wine stains on my sundress. 
You said it felt good to be here, and I 
laid my head on your shoulder. Remember 
we were laughing. Remember we laughed
so hard that even the sky chuckled,
and then the clouds parted,

and love, 
raindrops, and lips 
fell.

Pocket

You feel like the deep
exhale after a long day

        the quiet fireplace
in my hollowed chest

I want to lie forever
inside your pocket

You are sunset.
You are nostalgia.
You are home.

Goodnight

May you wake up in time
to catch the last lingering star
leaving quietly into the haze of dawn

Know that it was there
Know that it gave you light
Not as dazzling as the blazing sun
But it loved you
It love you quietly
through the darkest night

What Remains

I thought of you this morning, dear Josephine. In early spring, the dandelions became alive again in the garden you left behind. White parachutes of fickle seedlings, gone onto the same curving road you took to get away from here. I often wonder where you are, my sweet dandelion. The light’s filling up the sky as I am writing this letter to you, thinking of all the bright summers we’ve spent in this town; thinking of your liveliness, your sadness, the knot in your heart and all that gave you scars. Remember we used to run wild in the thick of the field, somehow seeing through the boarded sky that there would be a different life, two pebbles pattering in the palm of an invisible hand, your long hair windswept and struck by moonlight. The monotonous tide didn’t matter. The hunched backs of the fishermen didn’t matter. The cold rain, the wet grass, the wind maliciously tugging at our dresses didn’t matter. We were not afraid, Josephine, of what was beyond, or what came after. When we stood on the black rock cliff to watch the sunrise, a pair of white birds circled over us like impossible love, before diving into nothingness, never to be seen. You said that is how you like to go one day. You dreamt of a world that wanted you in it, that needed your wide teary eyes and tight fists. Years later, some say that this dream was not the right kind of dream, but rather an impish shove against the breakwater that no waves could ever defy. But I want to believe you haven’t given up living a good life wherever you are. Today as I sit under this old willow tree where we used to share tiny secrets, watching leaves fall as they fall without haste, my memory of you, laughing, and holding a conch to hear the sea, is what always remains.

 

Originally published on August 25, 2016 on my old blog.

Eleventh Piece

The white frost is gone.
The lemon tree has grown.

I want to talk to you about your heart
that you’ve been neglecting lately like a cold.

And you don’t even know.

The white frost is gone.
The lemon tree has grown

so much stronger since you were here
last spring with seeds, pebbles and a hope.

Button

This morning he knows it is coming to an end,
this life of his hanging by a frayed thread.
He is closer to it each time
as he glides into his narrow slit, meekly
like the weary-kneed cattle plodding
into their stall at the end of day.

It’s everybody’s story,
the way his kind can go on for years
without a yearning, biding their time
in a dim closet, sleeping
among the printed lilacs on an old blouse
like the one he rests on right now,
waiting for what he already knows –
that one blissful morning, the hand
would come down, brush along
his still perfectly round edge
for a contemplative second,
and yank him free.

 

Originally published on July 21st, 2016 on my old blog.